No Whine Before Its Time

My sincere thanks to the many subscribers who've clocked in on the wine cooler snafu. Here's my favorite, from Ina:

Ah come on Tina. The old fridge in the garage will do just fine for a wine cooler. If you need more space you're drinking too much anyway. :-) And if you have a party (without inviting me) where you need a lot of white wine have the wine store deliver it cold that day.

Enjoy your wine and the Weber grill.

Thanks for your response, Ina. A) Seriously? You think I drink too much? B) There's actually a wine store that would deliver already-chilled white wine right to my house? C) What a great opportunity for me to super-appropriately respond: Cool.

Another helpful, information-packed suggestion came from one of my brothers, the family oenophile / wine expert:

Wine "wants to be" left in the dark and at a constant temperature. So...a closet that is infrequently used is fine as long as it doesn't go beyond 75 degrees or so (ideally). The wine will age a bit more quickly than that in a 57 degree cellar, so it will be ready for consumption a bit sooner. The alternative would be to pick up a used refrigerator and tweak the setting to the mid-50's...but watch out for the "energy costs".

I haven't done an internet search but I would think you could find other wine coolers for sale made in the USA.

Thanks for your response, bro. A) What else does your wine "say" to you…? Go ahead, don't hold back. B) I like the beautifully-crafted phrase "ready for consumption a bit sooner." Makes my mouth water. C) I would think more wine coolers would be manufactured here in America, too. Sad but true. D) Seems like a good reason to break open a perfectly chilled, 57 degree Chardonnay and drown in our sorrows. E) Maybe Ina's right about my drinking.

Interestingly, no one clocked in as to how Don / Richie C and I are going to hoist that 112.5 lb. Made in China Vissani 52-Bottle Wine Cooler into the back of my Made in Japan Toyota 4-Runner. And yes, when Don arrived home from work--tired and hungry at 7 p.m.--he was just pleased as punch to hear of my decision to return the offending wine cooler. I think. He didn't actually respond verbally. But in the same way that my brother knows what his wines "want," I could tell what my dear spouse was thinking: I'd like to stick you and your damn project in a 57 degree closet right about now.

In a good marriage--despite what experts say--it's best not to resolve conflicts. Simply change the subject. And so I said: "Can you fire up the grill? We're having fresh wild salmon." Don nodded and smiled. His shoulders relaxed. "Sounds great. The new Weber heats up so fast you're not going to believe it."

See what I mean? Not sure where marriage advice fits into the Made in the U.S.A. theme. Guess it's not too much of a stretch to say an American-Made Weber Genesis BBQ saved the day. Yet another good reason to open a bottle of wine tonight and celebrate. But I'm only having one glass. Promise. To see why, watch Orson Welles in the YouTube video at the end of this piece in The Wine Economist. And be sure to read the article, too. It confirms every word my wise brother said about the proper way to chill wine. Cool. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Cheers, America.